By Sarah Humphrey
Grief, grief, the garment of grief
Which holds my heart in its hands
How long to stay
To feel its slay
Yet comfort in its plans
Grief has been a beautiful and brutal portion of my life. To let go of something, to honor hurt, to be available for difficult processing. At first glance, it seems like pure pain. Who would want to grieve?
And yet, as time has gone on, I’ve learned to love this somewhat confusing and beautiful process of allowing grief to be reconciled and awakened inside of me.
Whether it’s grieving a person, a situation, or a season, it’s valid. There is time for sadness and for loss, there has to be. If grief has no voice, then we succumb to its shortcuts. And shortcuts don’t lead to the healing, they end up electrocuting the heart.
I’ve held tight to the Scripture that God holds all my tears as holy intercession, that true bravery is letting those saline droplets fall in a simple space that will always outweigh the seemingly sunshine of a thousand claps of performance. It’s been my greatest asset that as His heart came to heal mine, the sun then started to shine as a result. It is never in the covering-it-up but always in the letting-it-go. Mourning is always somewhat present as new situations and circumstances create ways in which grief must have its course, as well as preparing the course of new life.
If metaphored as a hug, I find this sacred space of melting is much more resilient and refreshing than any space of ignorance or performance. It’s in the art of reconciling grief that we share in His sufferings and are stilled by His love. It’s in our honesty that His presence can be made manifest.
We owe it to ourselves to honor our loses, to be reconciled in our grief, and to be allowed the time. Because life does go on, yes. But it never stays the same. We are transformed or we are pushed along, and that is determined by how we wear our life’s precious process of grief and growth. I dare to walk it’s course and allow the space to feel. I know that life comes in the end as much as in the process.